The other day, Caitlyn asked for a definition of “girlfriend, like when grown-ups get married.” So I defined, aiming in grand parental fashion, for age-appropriateness and a balance between traditional definitions and using too many words to explain the various non-traditional relationships in our lives.

Caitlyn then announced, “Me and Alik are girlfriend and boyfriend.” This was followed by a description of the afternoon’s events on the playground, a game that seems to consist of sitting at the bottom of the slide and waiting for the other person to crash into you as they come down. And then, nonchalantly, she adds, “And we’re getting married tomorrow.”

“Really?” I’m playing this cool. Nothing Fazes The Mama.

“Uh-huh.”

“Oh. I was hoping I could go to your wedding. May I come tomorrow?”

“No,” she tells me, as if I were the most stupid person on the planet. “It’s during recess.”

“I see. Will you show me pictures?”

“Oh, sure.”

The topic has not come up again. I can’t remember Alik coming up again, except in a discussion about why Caitlyn couldn’t wear sunglasses to school (“But, Alik wears glasses to school!”) Maybe next time, I’ll manage to get introduced to the young man…